© Ella Ling

Federer - Olympics

PseudoFed: I'm not in decline

Not Roger Federer comments “on persistent speculations that My game is in decline”:
Saluti from Rome! (Italy)
Before I say anything I would like to take a moment to say Grazie to My Italian fans for welcoming Me here. Every year they are so gracious and offer hospitality second only to My staff.
My good friends at The Tennis Space asked Me to comment on the persistent speculations that My game is in decline. And I said I would. The Tennis Space Team were so happy. I watched their celebrations for several minutes before I gestured them away, little things like this keep Me humble.
Firstly, I am never in decline apart from when I go skiing. Then the decline is quite sharp until you reach the bottom. It is not possible to ski uphill, believe Me I have tried. Great scientific minds know about the reasons why I cannot ski uphill. People like Alberto Einstein and his brother Rick Stein. I believe Rick has retired now and owns a shop selling Fish and the Chips in Cornwall in the United Kingdoms. I think it’s wonderful when you change career direction and make the diversifications. To make an analogy, this would be like Me retiring and coaching tennis players.
Thirdly, since when does winning or losing matches have anything to do with how good you are? For the examples, look how little Rafaello Nadal (tennis player, unfortunately) has achieved this year compared to Me. Mr. Garros recognizes this and rightly has seeded him number 5 in Paris. (Personally I’d have seeded him lower.)
Lastly, and let’s go back to science, where is the evidence that I am in the decline? So what if I haven’t reached a tennis final this year. The year has not finished yet, it ends in December like it did last year. Prince William also has not reached a final. In fact, he was not even in the challenger tournaments, yet one day he will be King, so he definitely is not in decline either.
Do not believe these speculations fans, you know the truth. Always be questioning of what you read in the newspapers, unless it is written by Mr. Neil Harmans of The Times, he is one journo you can trust. Seriously, if one more person asks me if I am going downhill when I am not skiing then I will tell them what I always tell people when I get upset, stai zitto! (‘Shut up’ in Italian).
PF xxx
  • Danni

    I missed PseudoFed on here!! HaHa <3