© Ella Ling

Nadal in final

PseudoFed: Rafa coming back has been a shock

   
PseudoFed writes for The Tennis Space:
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Hello Darlin’,

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My best friends from The Tennis Space asked Me to describe how I felt about Rafa’s return. Well, to make the summaries in the short sentences with just one point so it can be encapsulated quickly, I found it a little bit annoying if I am being totally honest. If I was not being honest I would say I am so pleased and look forward to making more movies, like the popular Wimbledon final of 2008 on DVD, which still sells in large numbers.
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You see Rafa coming back has been a bit of a shock. In My head I had him retired off and he had become a professional golfer with a Spanish sounding name. He would go back to wearing those trousers, perhaps with the fashionable checkered patterns that I quite like for Myself. I would therefore not see him again on the tennis circuit and so would occasionally make the little jump for the joy when nobody was looking at Me, which is not often.
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Also in this wonderful vision, Andrew of the Murrays would have left tennis to become a Scottish Politician, Novak Djokovic also left to become a comedian on the television set, and Peter Sampras would have never existed.
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Me? I would have brought tennis into the modern world. Why should it be different to any other job? I would have used My influence to make retirement not before 65 years of age. This way the seniors tour would be appropriately named. At present, the senior tour should be renamed to The Slightly Older tour.
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My final Grand Slam at the age of 65 would be at Wimbledon, I would lift the trophy not on ‘Ordinary People’s Monday’, but on a Sunday and everybody would be so pleased to see Me gain My 55th GS title. Bjorn Borg would be there, apparently still happy for me.
But none of this was to be. I was lying in bed making the stretches when a personal assistant came in to push the button that electronically pulls back the curtains. He looked at Me and said in a soft voice so not to startle Me, “Rafa is back on tour”. I looked at him, as if I was still in a bad dream. It felt like I was making the crashes back to earth. It’s like the past year had been a lie. I now know how Pamela felt when she saw Bobby in the shower.
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PF xxx