© Ella Ling

Federer- spectators

PseudoFed: What I really think about Rafa


PseudoFed writes for The Tennis Space: 

Hello Everybody fans!

My Best Friends Forever (MBFF) at The Tennis Space sent a messenger (CEO, renowned author and good guy Mark Hodgkinson) to one of my homes to plead that I write a piece for their website. After intensive negotiations with My staff a figure was agreed. The figure has a round spherical shape and looks a lot like a zero.
The Tennis Space team asked what I thought about Rafaello Nadal. Well, it would be too easy to say that I dislike him. As your Spiritual Guide I advise that we should never dislike anybody in this world, save that for the next one. There are some things that I really like.
Here is a list:
1. Bread
2. Almond Milk
3. Alpen (Swiss Muesli)
4. Potatoes
5. Chocolate Digestives (please look for any offers such as buy 2 get 1 free)
Now here is a list of what I like about Rafaello:
1. His hair reminds Me very much of mine before I had it cut last.
2. I like the way he speaks very fast, even if I spoke Spanish I truly believe I would not know what he was saying.
3. It is nice that his staff are his family. This makes Me feel warm and comfortable. Although I am glad some members of My staff are not My family as they don’t look anything like Me.
4. The success he has had this year has been nothing short of irritating. Can someone tell him he can stop now. I would like this so much that it would be a positive so it belongs on this list.
Since he won the U.S. Open, again, people are now referring to him as the GOAT, or possible GOAT. Before I equalled the record of Pistol Peter, people were also referring to Me as the potential GOAT, to which I agreed. They say that history repeats itself, is this evidence that it does? I’m not so sure. When was the last time you saw an Egyptian build a pyramid? Or when was the last time you saw the Romans build an Umpire? So you see, history does not repeat itself.
I’ve heard lots of people say that I’ve had quite a remarkable season Myself and that they’ve never seen Me play like I have recently. I have found this very encouraging and look forward to the rest of the year and 2014.
Much love,
PF xx
  • Monco

    Empire* unless that’s PseudoFed’s Swiss accent.

  • Georgie

    That is just awesome!! HaHa Oh and the Umpire/|Empire thing is a joke! That to me was the funniest part.